Monthly Archives: August 2010

The people that made me tear

We were having our family dinner yesterday and i was just sharing with my family how amazing and selfless the people have been around me, for the last few months. And i was just wondering, how did these people feel so much for us. Yet they did.

Amazingly selfless and sincere, their gestures , compasion and their love touches me so so, greatly. So much so, i think sometimes my heart feel so touch and loved, that it melted into tiny droplets of tears.

the people:

My family has been very supportive and loving towards me especially during this period. Giving me the support, Emotionally, physically, mentally and took the time to spent time with us, bringing us for lunches and dinner and make a point to meet at least once a week. The “how are you’ calls and catchup with the current situation and myself, a touch of family love, i felt so much from them. my uncles, aunties and my parents.  And I know it, I know how loved and blessed i am/was. This is my family, so thoughful and ready to extend a helping hand wherever another member of the family is in difficulties or facing a rough patch. Some are more well to do, some are just average while some of us are struggling in life, but these made up a family, where we all compliment each other, and helped one another in some ways or another. 

The SOLF was never in my mind years back when i followed my parents once a year to the place of worship for Christmas, i remembered. Not until when Thirak AK followed us 3 years ago, and knowing his character, got to know the people really quickly. i never know that the God could give His children so much love to care and nurse a person, so much that i could even feel the Lord’s love from them. ‘how can they love you so selflessly, how could they feel so much and cry along with you’, i asked myself at times. You could never act out such love and compasion in a person and make the other party so touched and loved. i felt so teary because that’s what they gave me. God’s love compassion and their time and love during this period especially. It was simply so heartwarming.  They took the time for dinners and drinks, with us then. Encouraging us and giving us spiritual guidance and support. This my parents said no human fleshy man can do it, but only through the love of God. The new being, the new life in Christ. and of course, i experience it myself and through them. Their selfless love. their little constant gesture of calls, sms-es to me, and their “how is everything’, the concern.

these people took the time, their energy and effort in their support one way or other, in my life and in Thirak AK’s life,

and a thank you in needless to say, yet i think in my everyday prayers, i asked the Lord to bless them and hold them real tight. They have shown and taught me so much, so much that a lesson book or bible school cannot be bought or teach and learn. Nope  you cannot have all these by learning or lip speaking… its all from the Lord of God.

Categories: Heartfelt / Nostalgia | 1 Comment

something good is going to happen.

1st Samuel Chapter 1

I cannot recall whether it was 1.5 months ago or about 2.5 months ago when I realized that after all the gynae checks I had, that my possible chance of conceiving would be very minimal.

So during that period, I was thinking about the suggestion by the gynae of IVF but considering the chances are only 20% success rate and our financial status, it could not even be a thought in our head.

So during then I didn’t exactly prayed about my condition, in fact, I was more focus in my praying to the Lord about matters I know, we all were urgently grave about. So ..

I think it was after the fallopian tube test, that test that nearly killed me, that test, that I asked the Lord to take that pain that the test has caused me, away, that evening. My computer was on during then and after I prayed, and came back to the computer, there was this bible chapter 1st Samuel chapter 1 on the computer.

It’s amazingly, I can’t tell how it just POP out in the computer like that, anyway, I might have accidentally click on some icons or whatever. But in my years of using this computer, it never once pop out. And if i did accidentally click on the bible icon, then out of so many chapters in the BIBLE, had this chapter at chapter 1 to appear in front of me is amazingly too.

We probably had a bible application in the computer which in my years of using the computer never seen it or use it or had it POP up by itself like that. But that evening, during my pain from the tube test, this chapter POP up, a straight chapter 1, 1st Samuel in front of me. Just like a word document.

so you can imagine how amazed i was.. especially after reading the POP OUT chapter 1st SAMuel chapter 1.

And nobody was home then. Nobody was home when I switched my computer on and left it afterwards for a prayer with the Lord.

When I read the POP out chapter displayed on the computer 1st SAMUEL chapter 1, I went further to check how in the world did this chapter pop out from in the computer. i had no idea.

I don’t know until now but I read it over and over and over again. and after reading, i was a little taken aback, that how the story relates so closely to me,. the story had the dart nail on the bull’s eye.. hemm..

and then i was asking, what was God trying to tell me then? i didn’t understand during then. and during then, I asked Him if this meant to be something, a work or something to Him.

And told Thirak afterwards about it. At first I thought twice about telling him, but I told him a few days later.

The thing was I was thinking whether to blog it to post this post during then, then I refrain from posting. Thinking probably I would wait until much later but today, I felt I could post this anyhow already. I didn’t post it at first, when I know I should have. Then again, I think I needed to see the timing was right. I think its right now…

And so I did.

And so its kinda costly to go through the test over and over again, and I probably have to go through another surgery sooner, lots of consultation and I’m glad I have arranged all during these 2 nonpeak months. And then, we would just leave it to the Lord if a baby for us would be good then.

then maybe the whole incident would fall into place..

Cheers.

Categories: Health, Our Father, Jesus & the Holy Spirit | Leave a comment

My pile Surgery

When we reached Raffles surgery centre yesterday, I realised that i brought my large bag but when the Nurse asked me, “Ms Serena, can we have your IC please…” , my large bag failed to have my wallet with me. hoho.
My wallet was left in my weekend smaller baggie and my credit card and IC is not with me!
oh my gosh..
Thank God they verified verbally with me, then i was walked into the rest room for my surgery.
i changed into my surgery clothes and took out all jewelleries and laid on the bed to be wheeled in.
And i was wheeled in the surgery room early, at 8am.

The water bubbles sounds, the machine sounds and the nurses chatting happily sound, while i was laying down.. and this experienced Nurse took my hand and started shaking it to see my veins and poke just ONCE into it and it was done, Thank the Lord i had this experienced Nurse to do it, just once she managed to poke into my veins. Some i heard couldn’t just do it the first time.

Time to be sedated soon,

“”now i sedate you ah….” the doctor said after explaining to me the whole procedure again. I heard it once in the office the other day.
“ok”  i said
then i was facing the machine with a lot of lines and i was watching the lines, straight and going up, straight and going up, while he was injecting the medicine into my veins,………..zzzz…………….. and i woke up!

i was already in the rest room on the bed… i opened my eyes a little, saw the nurse, complained to her i’m in discomfort and wanted to go pass motion, and the last thing i heard she said, ” try to fart…” and I fell asleep again.

So i was out of the hospital by 10am already. The whole day yesterday, i felt the need to go toilet but this is just the effect only, the feeling of passing the motion but actually, its empty. The fact that i didnt have any food in the last 24 hours, and diahorrea the night before, definately, i assumed I had nothing at all.
this feeling felt the whole day yesterday and it was just this discomfort, no pain but the aching urge and the aching type of painy.
it was quite tiring to feel this aching though, but at least better than when the piles dropped out, hahah.

I’m Feeling: uncomfortable now.

 

Categories: Health | 3 Comments

Daddy ‘s wasted trip to town

I have been lying on bed the whole day and it’s hard to get to sleep ! Might be the ache I am feeling that making me uncomfortable, not pain but the aching sensation from the surgery this morning.
Then I thought about daddy’s guitar today. His co-guitarist at church recently complained about the guitar had no sound, something like that, so when daddy asked if he changed the battery, he said he did. But still, no sound came out. Daddy thought might be some jack problem , brought back the guitar and this afternoon made a trip to the guitar workshop to have them take a look at the no-sound guitar. When the person at the workshop opened the compartment in the no-sound guitar where the battery is, saw that the battery plastic cover was still intact! No wonder no sound, the battery plastic cover wasn’t taken off. How could someone not remove the plastic cover from a battery before inserting the battery! Wat a piece of joke. To think daddy made his way to town to remove a plastic cover! Hoho

Categories: Silliness | 3 Comments

In preparation for my pile surgery tomorrow.

Its my 3rd packet of tasty drink that i glubbed down in a half an hour.

i never longed for tasty water like that, i had 2 carrot pure clear juice and 1 100 plus, i asked mummy to get for me, just when she went down.

dehydration.

since this afternoon after lunch, i took 2 bottles of laxatives mixed in 4 larges glasses of water, prescribed by the doctor.
So i have been running to the toilet since and after the 4th round, i started my longing for water, like a vampire longing for blood.
And no intake of food since i started the laxatives until my surgery tomorow morning.
i wished it was tomorrow this time now where everything is over and i would be resting and recovering.

I’m Feeling: thirsty thirsty now.

 

Categories: Health | Leave a comment

I came here and got lost to what to write

its late and i couldn’t get to sleep.

i know i think a lot of things, so while wanting to blog so much about so much, i think i will write tomorrow.

good night.

Categories: Dreams/Sleep | Leave a comment

Recollection on the last wkend – Catching up & Nikkiboy

last weekend,
a snap of our tini GARDEN which i realised i havent stepped into for a while,…..

its been a while since i visited OUR balcony

and that evening Daddy’s Godson and Bulimo came over for a dinner and drinks near our place for catchup times.

and end of last weekie. haha

this Nikki boy has been afraid of the camera and phones since we all can remember.

whenever we take a square lookalike box or gadget and place in infront of our eye level, he will start to freak out and start to run all over the place for hiding.

When Thirak Darling AK even do the action with his fingers, doing a square box thing imaginery with his fingers and place it in his eyelevel pretending to want to snap a photo with imaginery camera, NIKI would ALSO freak out and start to run all over the house for hiding.

So we can never snap a good shot of Niki, except this!

he couldn't see we were snaping him

Categories: Doggies, Family & Gatherings | Leave a comment

Lunch trip to rangoon road

Another night of sleep and awoke and while trying to get back to sleep, fed up this evening when the computer got sicker and sicker, soon I be delivering the machine to the doctor, so bad till it swallowed up a cd I was trying to burn. Tsk tsk.
Just last noon, ms see arrange a lunch trip to Rangoon road for the bak kut teh. Me , ms see, Quek, leeting, our favourite Aunty Nancy n maymay. It was a hot noon, nope, I didn’t eat the bak kut or any pig parts but I had a large bowl of rice, vegetables and mushroom n some of maymay’s soup! The soup was good enough!

Categories: Food, Office, Tech/Gadgets | Leave a comment

My recent Low Depressed Energy

The last time when the pile dropped and caused me such pain was like 3 years ago when I had my tooth extracted and because it was my first wisdom tooth extraction, I took a lot of heaty medication and losses my energy to hold my strength. So my energy left. Haha
When the piles swollen and hurt so badly then, I had no choice after the western medication didn’t worked too well, I went to Uncle Desmond. It was he who told me that the energy and strength was minimise inside me already and caused the effect of the pile dropped.
Hahah

In chinese human,, we believe when our strength and energy is at the lowest peak, our health deterioate together as well, because we lose ourselves and the determination to fight the outside virus. Strength and energy could lose itself in many forms, for my tooth extraction, it was a scary process then when the blood bled nonstop during the operation and the surgeon was worried as well. So probably during then my energy depleted.

Strength and energy could lose in stress too, when adeline and I chatted, I too realised this stress thingy. And to be stress doesn’t mean you go frowning at your forehead, it comes without you actually physically showing it, sometimes, inside, it accumulates I guess.
And that is just what happens..

Sometimes when I stress and go depressed all together I just need someone , thirak to just to reassure me that its ok, that I am overly imagining things. And maybe its just me that goes depressed few years once thingy.

So when recently i started to realised that i think a lot about “maybe this maybe that”, “what if next time like that”, “what if next time like that how?”, and when my piles dropped, So that’s when I realised my energy and strength seems to depleted very fast, very certainly. Then I started breaking out in rashes. Hahhah so embarrasing. my energy depleted and i kept thining and thinking and , overly thinking of “next next next time”, the future..

Just yesterday I couldn’t sit for even half an hour on my expensive office chair and I went to Raffles at 4pm to see the westen doctor. Today I am sitting quite comfortably already thank God. Its weird, my mood seems to lighten up already today, with the medication of course also, and as adeline and I talked, I realized that even sometimes, for example, being apart from your loved ones could be a stress already, so without knowing. Or trying to juggle between office stress and what’s not. especially these periods..

so just a few days of tiny depression, and wailing and talking nonsense, and start to imagine this and that, and plus the energy low with work and personal stress, and I’m glad I realised it, and it was the Lord that made me realised it too, and got out of it. Of course, other than thirak and my parents, the most important person that helped me was God of course. Because we had the Lord to talk to us… Without Him, I think I would be still wailing and form more imaginary imaginations already.

I’m Feeling: I need a touch from God.

Categories: Me Myself About Me | Leave a comment

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