How do I say it?
When daddy’s feet was swelling and bloated because of the water retention, he would comment his kidney functioning was not getting any better. I tend to brush it aside my mind and think otherwise, because I guess, I was not trying to get it, or accept the fact that his kidney was failing.
I kept pressing myself with the thought that it was in total control from the quarterly visits to the specialist and amount of the intake of the numerous tablets of medicine he has to take every day twice, the kidney should be in control ……..
I keep telling myself, it was just the water retention thingy in the aged-parents thingy.
But these few days, his feet swelled and he was trying to rub the swollen feet in his best strength to minimise the bloated feet… and last night, when I reached home, he was tired and resting because he felt sick. He didn’t talk … he was weary.
Today, he went to work and told momma that his feet swollen more and was home resting. Momma called the doctor but there was nothing the doctor could do. The doctor was always afraid of swelling feet, cause that means that the kidney might not be showing a good sign,… and this is what daddy kept telling me..
And sitting here, I was trying to absorb and accept the fact, that probably it’s really his kidney that is not functioning as well anymore.. and its not making us feel any much better.
I prayed a lot, I prayed a lots everyday for us, them, for daddy’s health.. for momma’s health. But I know that its not just what we want on earth that we get it. I learnt that to my greatest wish, sometimes, it just doesn’t goes our way. But I prayed that the Lord would comfort and strengthen him in His own ways, Spiritually …emotionally perhaps…… I learnt that our lifes are in the hand of our Lord..so long we are His..
Yet I cannot stop but feeling so depressing at times…
I’m Feeling: my parents