Last night, in the late night, in our outermost reluctance, we brought Nikki boy to the hospital to be put to sleep.
Right after his 4th fits into the day, with 2 jabs of Valium in every 4 hours, the pain we saw him in was unbearable, for him as well as for us.
And when I thought back at the vet’s words, that the cancer had affected his brain and causing him to get into the fits with no help anymore, I suddenly became clear why he started walking in circles recently,
It wasn’t recently that the brain was affected so I suspected, it was awhile already, and the whole left part of his body was affected causing him to only walk In circles, in a circle, as his nerves and movement only recognized the one direction. His left eyes was left blinded gradually, and his left mouth was deterioting. This made me realized that so often he was in great distress and pain probably, but as a dog, he could only sleep and pass on the days quietly with whims and whims at times.
As much as we try to deal with ourself in preparation and delay in putting him to sleep, we never did. The more we try to delay it, for ourselves (actually, because we didn’t want to lose him), the more agony and painful he felt. I knew he was, all the time.
When the last 4th fits came in the night, even after having jabbed him with Valium four hourly, he wasn’t getting any better, of course. The fits he went through was just too uNbearable for him. And painful for us.
Took a slow drive to the hospital, he was in total, weakness and feeble, we took a while to be with him, and he soon felt asleep,,,
We miss him, but we know, if we kept him, for our own selfishness, he would be terrible and awful.
We have shared happy memories together, and this will stay with us inside, Nikki Boy together with Benji boy too. The times of happiness they brought unto our lifes will be kept as memories inside us.
God Created Animals, dogs for us to play with, to cuddle with and charge us over them. I know this was the best for the little dog, but we tend to grieve a while..
Somehow, the Lord gave us a lot of comfort in times of these and i am thankful, that we have Him , to give us the grace and mercy and strength, even in little grieve like these, when we lost our little furry ones.